Owlbear Hill — Adventure Site Contest 2 Post-Mortem

My reviews of submissions for the Adventure Site Contest 2 are complete, my scores are turned in, and I've spent some time reflecting on what I learned from the experience, both as judge and adventure site designer.

Thanks to the other judges: Ben Gibson, BX Blackrazor, Owen Edwards, and Grützi for their kind and fair words about this adventure, and for all the hard work they put in to conduct their contest reviews. I was honored to be asked to judge, and I hope I brought something helpful to the table. 

Also, congratulations to all the contest entrants. I've said before that it takes a lot of guts to write something and put it out there for other randos to critique. I have respect for every author and encourage everyone to keep writing, as all the entries had good, creative stuff in them.

Yes, my reviews were nit-picky, far more than I am in "real life," and yes, they were long-winded, but I believe it's more important for the author to hear what doesn't work than it is to hear what does. Criticism, not praise, is the entire point of the editorial (judging) process. And to make sure the criticism is sound, you have to dig into the details and tear things apart to get at them. 

I went through each submission with a fine-toothed comb and double-checked the rulebooks (where I could) to form my critical questions. Often, I found the answers; sometimes, I found new questions. I put everything out there in terms of what I noticed, even if it was nit-picky, off-base, or purely personal opinion. Everyone's tastes are different and I'm just some guy on the internet, so the stakes of my criticism are low. My only goal was to give an honest and thorough evaluation of each site, from the perspective of a DM preparing to run it in a few hours.

The most valuable lessons about professional writing I ever learned were from the experienced editors who were hardest on my work. Their lessons stay with you, help you recognize the same mistakes next time before you make them. I certainly carry them over into my own editorial duties, contest or otherwise, and I hope all the authors take my reviews in that spirit. 

In the spirit of accountability, on the other hand, I thought it would be fun to apply some of the same critical standards I used for the contest submissions to my own work. I won't be scoring the categories numerically, of course, because I already think my adventure is GREAT! 5 out of 5!! 

Kidding, of course. There are actually lots of flaws and things that bothered me about my entry, regrets big and small, and could-have-beens that I forced myself to live with to meet the contest guidelines. Instead of giving it a score, I'll discuss my personal satisfaction with the results. I'm also including some design notes and elaborating on the original writeup. Stuff that might help someone trying to run it better understand my intentions. 

Since the methods I use for judging are subjective, I'm going to apply some of the questions/criticisms from other judges to test my creative premises. This is for no other reason than to have something to bounce off as a discussion point, because it represents something in my writeup that probably needs clarification. I accept their critique as 100% valid and agree with most of it—and much of it was positive—but where I can provide an explanation for my creative choices, I will.

 Onward!

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Warm Caves of the Ts'ai Dragons

I can't quite believe it, but here we are at the last Adventure Site Contest 2 review. This has been an interesting ride, and I plan to post some follow-up thoughts on the experience after taking a step back and considering what I've learned. It's been eye-opening, frankly, and has made me reconsider how I go about my own dungeon designs. I'll expound further, but congratulations to everyone who submitted something this year. It was a distinct honor to be chosen as a worthy judge, so I hope I've lived up to expectations.

On with the review!

The Warm Caves of the Ts'ai Dragons

Author: Sneedler Chuckworth
System: OD&D
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 5-7

There is no introductory text. The writeup simply plops the reader into a list of adventure hooks. In the first one, an evil wizard offers to train the party's magic-users for free if they retrieve an important document. The second hook is a treasure map to the location of powerful magic arrows. The third and last hook is a report about a dragon running amok in the hinterlands.

So, the first hook sets the tone for the text. The "dread wizard Zothblimzo" desires an arcane treatise written by his hated rival Forxximon, another magic-user. The names are goofy and tricky to pronounce, but I don't mind that so much. It does suggest that Sneedler Chuckworth's adventure isn't taking itself seriously, which can work if handled properly. The unseriousness is reinforced with the subject of the desired treatise regarding "the mating habits of Fire Elementals." Hm. 

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: Galactic Funtime

Galactic Funtime

Author: Shawn Metcalf
System: Stars Without Number
Party Size: 4-6
Level Range: 3-5

The Galactic Funtime entertainment center thrived, separating people from their money and replacing it with fun. Of particular note was their Build-A-Spider center, where sophisticated and underregulated genetic assembling technologies allowed for the creation of living pets resembling Soupy Spider, Galactic Funtime’s corporate mascot. These pets were harmless, unable to reproduce, and designed to perish within a week. Sadly, the miniature nuclear reactor the center had installed to handle the energy requirements started to leak without regular maintenance. The genetic material used mutated, and began producing spiders that were dangerous, had normal life spans, and could reproduce. Before the machinery broke down completely, spiders with more severe mutations were created. Now the building is overrun with them.

This reminds me of the setup for a Paranoia adventure. I loved that game's hilarious take on a post-apocalyptic world, but unless you had the right set of smart players and a DM with a well-tuned sense of humor and great pun delivery, much of the game's comedic value fell flat or went unappreciated. Jim Holloway's art was kind of perfect for it, too. I'm already rubbing my hands in anticipation.

Up front, I know nothing about the adventure system, Stars Without Number, but I have read good things and I am a fan of sci-fi RPGs (even though I've rarely had the opportunity to play in one). As my take is severely limited, I'm only dealing with the narrative elements for this review and will leave any rules or procedural questions alone.

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: Wailing Tower

Wailing Tower

Author: ShockTohp
System: Adventurer Conqueror King
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 4-6

In the salt district of the city, an old moldering water clock sits rusting. This marvel of hydraulic engineering, a gift from the local dwarf vault, was created as a heroic burial site of a human general of great renown, who once saved the dwarfs from a horde of lizardmen. The hero was interned (sic) with his spoils in a crystal dome, located in the basement of the tower (and surrounded by its reservoir) but in such a way as to allow admirers to look down on the interred from the ground level viewing gallery. However, its glory days are long gone, and the clock has been abandoned by its keepers. Now its ancient waterwheel creaks and groans, the machinery inside screeches like a tormented beast. While it was once protected by an army of statues, many whisper the enchantments have long since drained into the earth below, leaving the grave vulnerable to pillage by those who would rob the dead.

This adventure site is written for ACKS, with which I have no experience playing or running, though I understand it's built on the BX chassis. I'm not going to focus too much on rules issues but if I get something wrong, feel free to correct me and I will update the review.

Alright, so the centerpiece of this adventure is a water clock—a timekeeping mechanism housed within a tower that is slowly rusting away due to engineering neglect. It is a monument to, and the burial place of, a legendary human general. The site is haunted by a banshee—the spirit of a jilted lover who died heartbroken and penniless after being abandoned by the general long ago.

R.I.P. Chesty

 Farewell, my feline friend.

You were a great companion, a one-of-a-kind mister, a stalwart mascot of our Tuesday night group, and a hardass placeholder DM when I had to leave the table for a quick bathroom break.

 Fight on, little buddy, until we meet again in Valhalla!

 

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Grand Retreat of the Great Sage Tellah

The Grand Retreat of the Great Sage Tellah

Author: thanateros777
System: BX
Party Size: ?
Level Range: ? ("mid-level")

Beneath a ruined resort is an underground complex created by a bygone sage for his personal amusement and examination, accessible only by a small outbuilding long overgrown and ruined. Deep inside may be fortunes and perils alike, as the Great Sage was an eccentric, if not abnormal man. What mysteries and riches may the eccentric wizard’s sanctum hold?

So when I opened this PDF, I was nearly blinded by the Moiré pattern on the page—a font so compressed as to remove all but a sliver of white between the characters. Waves of interference made my brain shut down for a second time in this contest. See for yourself...

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: Arena Æmilia

Arena Æmilia

Author: Zed
System: BX
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 4-6

Spectacle! at the Arena Æmilia[.] Every Ides new performances. History and legends, classics and new,
thrill and laughter, reenactments and hunts. Entry a silver sesterce, tours upon agreement.

The above notice "hang[s] in ever (sic) town of the region, and every 15th of the month plebeians and nobles alike from all over the frontier province flock to the amphitheater, for some well earned distraction from the toils of imperial expansion."

The site is located in a settlement—any large town or city with an Imperial Rome theme—and its run by Titus, a 7th-level fighter and, variously, a champion, decorated war veteran, and former slave raider. He lives here with his 3rd-level magic-user daughter and her pet smilodon, along with their 100-year old housekeeper, a 4th-level elf who has served Titus's wife's family "for generations" (for some reason).