Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Fall of Saddleroddle

Continuing with my series of reviews of submissions for the Adventure Site 2 Contest. Unfortunately, this one violated the contest rules by using nearly a third of the map page for body content so I will not be including it in my final rankings. If it was just the encounter table (a mistake I made last year), then I might have simply deducted a point, but it also includes the adventure intro and a paragraph detailing the dungeon's features. 

Part of the challenge of this contest is showing creative restraint and trimming down to fit the allotted space. I'm terrible at the former, and I struggled mightily to achieve the latter this year, so I'm going to be a little unforgiving here. As with The Mound of Akbarj, however, I will take the time to evaluate it so as to honor the contest's actual purpose: helping each other improve our adventure writing.

The Fall of Saddleroddle

Author: DangerIsReal
System: AD&D
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 4–5

Once upon a time the Devil's Swamp was a place of hills where the Gnomish Federation of Saddleroddle was thriving led by the great Saxif the Cryptic. Legend has it that one night the ground shook so hard that all the hills collapsed into the depths, leaving a field of crevasses and tunnels dotted with the ruins of the city. As time passed, the area became a sinister swamp populated by creatures vomited from the depths of Saddleroddle. But who really knows what lies at the bottom of the sunken rooms?

We're given the map immediately, even before the above introduction. It's a side-view map showing the dungeon's verticality, which may limit its usefulness to many DMs. It's also absolutely packed with 31 keyed areas. Next are details about the dungeon environment: Humid, dark and fetid; a third of doors are stuck; wet stairs are slippery making charges risky; vertical shafts may be climbed using equipment (or by thieves). Wandering encounters occur on 1:6 rolled every 2 turns. That's a lot of checks for a dungeon that will obviously require extensive exploration time, but there are only six encounter types listed meaning the players will be fighting the same monsters over and over unless the DM expands the list.

Diving right into the key, we describe four above-ground locations: a sinking tower; a pair of toxic and dangerous ponds (strangle weed is an ocean monster, but that's fudgeable); and a literal hole in the ground next which is a camp of mercenaries and their cleric camp busily lynching lizard men. Their leader is down in the dungeon with some of the boys, and they don't welcome competition from the party. There are two obvious entrances and two secret entrances to the lower levels. That's good, although all four enter roughly the same two spaces (which is not as good).

Below is a vertical labyrinth of passages and chambers intermingled with natural tunnels and caverns, and filled with a good mix of unusual dungeon critters: some rust monsters feasting on a pile of metal junk; an ochre jelly lurking in a pool; piercers and giant subterranean lizards; blindheims from the Fiend Folio (a personal favorite); and a giant octopus (the fresh-water kind). The biggest threats come from the mercenary leader, Reinhart the Bastard and his men who are carving their way through the dungeon and stealing the party's XP, as well as a clay golem (!), and a tribe of 60 (!!) kuo-toa who have migrated to this near-surface lair from deep below.

The clay golem can only be harmed by blunt magical weapons or by a few spells of 6th or higher level. It attacks as 11HD and does 3–30 damage per blow, plus it hastens itself to get two attacks. This thing will likely massacre a party of 4th–5th level characters, and even if it doesn't, the requirements to heal the party's damage from the golem are going to be costly. As for the kuo-toa, obviously the party isn't meant to fight all 60 at once, but there aren't any details of how they're arranged in the cave, nor any order of battle, so the DM is going to have to figure all that out. The make-up of the tribe does not conform to their description in D1–2 or the Fiend Folio, and the leader has an incorrect number of hp, but these are described as a "weak" group sort of fleeing the underworld, so it's not too difficult to overlook the discrepancies.

Treasure is decent—about 84,000 gp worth—though much of the loot is concentrated in a few hard-to-attain hoards, such as in the lair of the giant octopus at the bottom of a water-filled chasm, secreted within a series of twisting nooks and crannies. (Kudos to the author for the use of a High-Gygaxian term like "anfractuosities."). Or the massive stash of coins and jewelry in the kuo-toan leader's chamber, which would require defeating the entire tribe presumably. Total XP for the magic items will run around 13k, while monster kills will net another 14–15k. A recommended party size isn't given, but a group of 5 could earn up to 22k each if they clear the place. That's enough to take a character from 4th to 5th level, but probably not from 5th to 6th unless they're already partway there.
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1) THEME
(How strong/consistent is the adventure's premise, flavor, and setting?) 

The architecture doesn't scream "gnome" to me. Most of the rooms have 20' high ceilings (a few even soar to 25–30' high) which seems contrary to the gnome's motif as burrowers. There are lots of spiral stairs and trapdoors, which I suppose represents them well, and some bas reliefs of gnomes doing stuff. One room contains "several unbelievable machines [with] numerous pipes and cables" which suggests the techno-/tinker-gnome end of the spectrum that typifies most modern versions of the race. These being gnomish ruins doesn't take anything away from the adventure site; it just has little to no significance to the adventure at all. Certainly, whatever caused Saddleroddle to fall isn't pertinent here, despite the title.

As just a weirdo dungeon/cave setting, however, it works quite well in terms of making it all feel like the same place and conveying that whole, anything-can-happen-here vibe. The rival mercenaries actively exploring the place are great, though they would have been nice to include in the wandering encounters table. Speaking of which, except for the kuo-toa, the creatures listed in the wandering encounters table aren't represented anywhere in the dungeon. It's not essential to a good dungeon to do that, but it's an easy way to build strong connections with the setting at-large. Encountering stirges flitting about is fine, but later finding and destroying their nest deep in the dungeon rocks!

The monsters feel mostly appropriate for what's going on here, though not all that interesting. The golem is overpowered and the kuo-toa's sheer numbers may prove overwhelming, especially if the DM opts to run them by the book rather than as 2 HD mooks. A tribe this size would likely contain higher HD kuo-toa, including "specialty" versions (whips, monitors, etc.) Even if used as-is, I think spreading out the tribe into more areas of the dungeon could make the whole bottom floor a much more dynamic lair while also making the party's fight with them more manageable.

Magic items are pedestrian: A few pieces of +1 armor and weaponry, a cleric scroll, a Cloak of the Manta Ray, a Ring of Telekinesis, a Ring of Protection +1, a Wand of Enemy Detection, and Boots of Speed. Good utility items, but nothing particularly thematic or game-changing for the party (except maybe the boots). 

SCORE (THEME) = 2 / 5
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2) MAP AND ART
(How complex/useful is the map and/or art? How easy is it to grok the layout?)

The vertical map is well-drawn and hearkens back to the awesome-looking sample dungeon cross-section in Holmes Basic. A scale of 10' squares is given, providing a good indication of the site's depth and routes of descent. I personally like cross-sectional and isometric maps as comprehension tools for complex dungeon designs, and even included a cross-section as part of the dungeon map for my own submission for this year's contest.

The thing is, vertical maps help to show level relationships, but they aren't well-suited for describing a space for horizontal exploration. This map is decipherable, but is unusable for gameplay that relies on a tactical-oriented battlemat or VTT. The limited perspective on room dimensions reduces the ability to track time accurately as well, so unless exploration is heavily abstracted, the DM will have to do a lot of heavy lifting to run this.

SCORE (MAP/ART) = 1 / 5
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3) CLARITY
(How easy is the writeup to read/parse quickly? How well does the information flow?)

Overall, the writing is concise and sharp, with plenty of little details that help set a quick and simple scene. The side margins are narrow, the text is single-column and left-aligned, and there is no line spacing except around monster stat blocks. This can make the document challenging to scan and parse at times. Bolding is used a little haphazardly and applied to too many elements that could use some alternate formatting instead (to differentiate monsters and magic items, for example).

The information flow at the beginning of the dungeon key wanders a bit because the numbered locations on the map conform to a "left > right / top > bottom" scheme, rather than along obvious routes of travel. All the surface locations are numbered this way, which is an appropriate way to do it here. The most likely route the party will take into the dungeon is either via area 2 (if they're willing to take on the mercenaries), or via areas 3 or 4 (both of which enter area 9).

As written, the key describes rooms that are deeper in the dungeon before the areas adjacent to the entrances, which makes the DM's intro into the dungeon levels a bit confusing. Though it slightly breaks the numbering scheme of the map, a more efficient order of information would have been to re-number area 7 to '5', area 9 to '6', and area 8 to '7', and then flowed out the rest of the keyed location descriptions from there.

SCORE (CLARITY) = 3 / 5
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4) INTERACTIVITY/INNOVATION
(How well does the adventure use the rules to create interesting play?)

In addition to the aforementioned slippery stairs, there are lots of environmental bits to fiddle with and explore here: stagnant water that causes disease; a thorny bush hiding a secret dungeon entrance; a rusted gate; piles of debris hiding bear traps or a trapdoor; strong odors (musty, damp, ammonia); guano-covered floors (yuck!); phosphorescent mushrooms; a pit containing a rotting otyugh that causes typhus (blech!, though some specs on the disease would be handy here); a room with perfect acoustics that triggers an extra encounter check due to the echoing sounds of the party's exploration; basins of acid blocking the way forward; and more. All good stuff—even when mostly inconsequential—as it gives players things to do, ask questions about, and experiment with. Engaging with the environment is the currency of an effective adventure site, and this one is wealthy in that regard.

I love that the merc's leader, Reinhart the Bastard, is uncertain what to do about his band's predicament when the party shows up. This gives the party an opportunity to parley and negotiate, maybe join forces to try to take down the golem (though the extra guys won't really help that fight). The mirrors that permanently change the characters' hair color is fun, and the other mirror that gives glimpses into another random chamber with a chance to be teleported therein is a great, party-splitting trick that may completely upend the adventure (in a good way). 

There are a few outright traps (a bas relief that hypnotizes and may cause a fall; a spiked pit; a rope bridge over a chasm with piercers overhead; a lock needle trapped with death poison) and some good magical tricks (an illusion of a roaring black dragon guards a staircase down; a silver d30 teleports party members standing within a magic circle to the room number that turns up on a die roll; an iron sphere that, once set rolling, makes a terrible racket—fool-of-a-Took-style—and attracts nearby monsters). There are even some prisoners to rescue from the slimy clutches of the kuo-toa.

Some of the pieces do feel a little like they repeat the same idea and could use a tweak to make them more unique, but overall the interactive elements in this are numerous and mostly fun. Some elements are also missing details to explain how the interaction works with the rules; easy for a DM to interpret, but also just as easy for the designer to include to help out the referee. 

The one element that definitely needs a fix is the wine fountain. Each sip heals a wounded character for 1–6 hit points but intoxicates them (–4 to all rolls) for up to an hour. This is easily exploited so, unless the DM puts some limits on the effect, welcome to the party's permanent camp in the dungeon.

SCORE (INTERACTIVITY) = 4 / 5
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5) MODULARITY
(How easy would it be to drop/integrate the adventure into an existing campaign?)

There's nothing that anchors this adventure site to any particular theme or setting (even the exterior swamp locale doesn't really factor into the dungeon in an indispensable way), so the DM could easily drop it in anywhere and adapt it to their needs.

SCORE (MODULARITY) = 5 / 5
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6) USABILITY
(How much work will the referee have to do to run this adventure at the table tonight?)

This is where the nice-looking and imaginative vertical map really sinks things for me (no pun intended). I'm not saying no one could make this work or run it easily, but if I were thinking about running it, I know I would have to rework the maps completely to show the five horizontal levels and the spatial orientations of the rooms and access-ways, and I would want to rework certain other elements (such as the black dragon illusion) to make them more impactful.

SCORE (USABILITY) = 2 / 5
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7) OVERALL THOUGHTS

This is a tough one because there's lots of good stuff here, but the additional work required for my needs means I'm probably going to skip running it, though I would probably steal some ideas I like for my own adventures. I think there's the framework for a really cool kilo-dungeon here. I confess that I'm a fan of (classic) gnomes and one of my favorite all-time characters was a gnome fighter-thief who adventured in Hommlet/ToEE, so I would love to see the author draw some top-down maps, expand the levels a little, and then inject the whole site with lots of gnomish flavor and detail.

FINAL SCORE = 2.8 / 5

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Calid Cryo-Caves

Continuing with my series of reviews of submissions for the Adventure Site 2 Contest. This one is by a prolific adventure designer with a unique style and voice who offers his material for free, therefore I'm approaching this review with a great deal of respect baked in already.

The adventure's written for the Seven Voyages of Zylarthen (7VoZ) ruleset, which I understand to be a retroclone of OD&D with a sort-of implied Mediterranean/Levantine sword-and-sandals flavor. I have no experience with the system (or OD&D for that matter), other than having read some of Jeff's other adventures, so I plead ignorance if my review gets a rules detail wrong.

The Calid Cryo-Caves

Author: Jeff Simpson
System: Seven Voyages of Zylarthen
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 3–5

A set of twisting tunnels set in the liminal space between glacial frost and subterranean heat hide the treasures of long-dead travellers but also fearsome creatures! Can you survive the sweltering heat, the oppressive cold, and the cramped passages of the Calid Cryo-Caves?

Why is the party even trying to address that question? That's up to you, Mr. DM. They're already here, standing outside a darkened geothermal cave. They enter, stirring up (harmless) bats. The air turns suddenly cold. The striated cave walls brim with fossilized plants and shells. A cryptic message is drawn in the dust. Three cramped passages exit.

Good opening. Nothing dramatic happens, but it sets a nice stage for the theme established in the intro. One cave exit carries a 30% chance to get stuck, but its fairly easy (70%) to wiggle out of it. Navigating this passage requires three such rolls, but is rewarded with a rope and a magic Ring of Alarm (a new item). The other two exits lead to different routes to the lower caves.

One of these is a winding passage down to a frigid cave (-30F) with an icy wind that extinguishes torches (but not lanterns). Using a certain wall to navigate blindly risks becoming calcified instantly then silently (!) absorbed into the natural rock, so hopefully the party recalls the cryptic message in the cave above and chooses wisely. The faces of those absorbed into the wall are revealed in the glow of a lantern or magic light (very cool). From here, the passage "warms" back up to 50F and continues down to the lower caves.

The other route opens into a humid cavern (95F—or what we call early-June in my neck of the woods). An icy crevice drops into the lower caves. A saber-toothed living fossil hides in the dark recesses of the cave, waiting to pounce on the rear ranks of an unsuspecting party as they negotiate the crevice. A side passage at the bottom leads into a tight space where the trapped body of a priest may be discovered with some treasure. Salamanders on the wall warn of a dangerous creature who lives further down in the caves, if Speak with Animals is used. 

Pushing onward from the base of the icy wall, the party enters a bone-chillingly cold (0F) cavern, where both routes from the entrance cave converge. A trio of living fossils—the stony skeletal remains of grizzly-boars—guard this cave. Among some bones are a surgery kit (?) and another new magic item: a Blade of Tempering. A wide tunnel provides an obvious exit, but exploring a narrow canal in another part of the cave requires 1–6 turns and runs a big risk of getting seriously stuck. For their persistent efforts, a character can recover a magic ring. Alas, it is a Ring of Weakness. Man, that's harsh.

Continuing deeper into the caves, the party finds themselves on a ledge high above a geothermal spring. The air is warm and moist (95F), and the craggy rock walls are easily climbed. Hiding on a ledge above the party is a fisher-spider (a new creature that seems molded after the cave-fisher...not sure if this is a regular 7VoZ monster or a unique creature). A fat diamond can be found in its nest.

Disturbing the waters of the hot spring causes the skeleton of a giant piranha to float to the surface, but it does nothing except maybe shoo the party away from exploring the spring and finding the secret tunnel hidden beneath the water' surface. It's very specific and seems unrelated to anything around it, so I suspect this is an inside joke or a reference to something I'm not aware of, maybe?

If the party does search around the pool, they discover a patch of colder water, a clue to the submerged tunnel that leads into the final room, a frigid (-15F) cave protected by a cryo-magmic golem—a giant icy, man-shaped shell surrounding a molten core. Who made this thing? No clue. Why was it placed here? Apparently to guard about 7,000 sp worth of treasure (6k of it in a single piece of jewelry) and a Scroll of Druidic Rejuvenation. mm-kay.

That's it... the party's done. Time to head out and divvy up their meager takings while they wonder what that was all about.
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1) THEME
(How strong/consistent is the adventure's premise, flavor, and setting?) 

This site is delivered as an environment for dungeon activities. It is highly naturalistic, though fantastic in terms of its physics. There are clues found throughout to a failed expedition, the remains of explorers who met their various ends in the caves. In fact, most of the treasure appears to be their ill-fated hand-me-downs. Other than that, there's absolutely no "story" here; nothing going on at all other than a space to move around, explore a bit, and stab things. For you, that may be the perfect adventure site.

The geothermal aspects are interesting in concept and will give exploring the caves a flavorful angle, but there's no explanation of why the extremes are occurring and the overall effect is sort-of inconsequential (see further below). The players (my players, certainly) may be curious and spend time looking for a reason or significance. Since there isn't any, the DM is either going to have to risk his players becoming frustrated or bored in a fruitless search for meaning, or hand-wave it all and explain that it's some sort of magic blah-blah they don't need to worry about. Neither is desirable.

The monsters are all unique (I think): two types of living fossils, a fisher-spider, and a cryo-magmic golem. They mostly support the cavernous setting, though the golem's origin and purpose are a complete mystery. Treasure seems sparse: 10,350 sp in valuables only amounts to a handful of coins for members of a decent-sized party, and assuming the silver standard is equivalent to OD&D's gp/xp ratio, the xp take is similarly low. It's not terrible for a side jaunt and the caves don't seem that dangerous for a party of 4th–5th levels, so the risk:reward ratio may be more decent than it looks.

The magic items are also unique and kind of weird. This may be another 7VoZ thing, but two of them have potentially bad side effects. The druid scroll contains a spell described as "[a] limited form of reincarnation [that] can resurrect any mammal or fully heal them of damage or affliction. It is also capable of restoring petrified creatures such as the grizzly boars." I thought reincarnation turns you into another creature when you return to life. Additionally, "[t]here is a 1% chance of magic backlash which will cause all plants within 1 mile to instantly rot and blight." This potential downside seems incongruous with the spell's primary effect acting upon mammals, and the party's druid is going to need to do some serious penance if things go wrong, which seems a little capricious. 

Similarly, the Ring of Alarm sounds neat at first. While worn, "a 20' bubble will be created around the wearer that detects against intruders while he is sleeping." That's a great utility item for a character. We've all had that experience of not waking up during an overnight encounter in camp. Reading on, however, reveals that the nature of the alarm is that "[h]ostile creatures entering the bubble will cause a point of damage against the wearer." Hopefully that means one or more creatures do 1 point of damage and not 1 damage per creature, because a lot of creatures can enter a 20' circle. The description doesn't specify whether the 20' dimension is radius or diameter, but I'm assuming the latter. 

The Blade of Tempering is also contradictory. A +1 Sword / +3 vs. Plants and Plant-creatures, it glows red when near water (does it just glow or become actually hot?) and if plunged into water, creates a 2' sq. patch of ice that can be strung together to create a bridge. Huh?! None of those abilities feel like they go together...at all. 

It's a neat setting idea: a frozen cave containing a geothermal hot spring. I would have liked to have seen more environmental activity: steam clouds; thin ice walls barely holding back a flood of frigid water, scorching hot stones and magma pits. Juice all that up and you've got the caves of awesomeness. It needs more of a point—something to tie it all together and give your party a satisfying reason to visit.

SCORE (THEME) = 2 / 5
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2) MAP AND ART
(How complex/useful is the map and/or art? How easy is it to grok the layout?)

The hand-drawn map uses a 5' scale, meaning some passages (by design) are only a foot or two in width. This makes accessing certain areas treacherous, as there is a chance to get stuck. The grid looks hand-drawn but, if so, the designer did a great job making it uniform. 

The map image itself appears to have been photocopied and then scanned, maybe; there are copier-like smudges, and the grid is at a slight angle and fades out in sections, but the sloppiness doesn't detract from the map's usability which is the important thing.

A second, side-view map is provided as well, showing the dungeon's verticality, which isn't nearly as apparent from the top-down view. This is great, but I wish the designer had included a vertical grid as well so I could quickly gauge depth. Very helpful in understanding the delving challenge here, otherwise.

The artwork of the main monsters is fun and Jeff's uniquely crude style always brings a smile to my face.

SCORE (MAP/ART) = 3 / 5
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3) CLARITY
(How easy is the writeup to read/parse quickly? How well does the information flow?)

The margins are wide, with plenty of white space. The text is in single-column format and left-aligned which isn't ideal, but its part of the author's formatting style. 

The text is written with a certain verve and directness that imparts a lot of substance without expending a lot of words. There are some minor typos and grammar issues (mostly instances of using a passive voice), but the text is easy to read for the most part.

SCORE (CLARITY) = 3 / 5
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4) INTERACTIVITY/INNOVATION
(How well does the adventure use the rules to create interesting play?)

A few general environmental features are given upfront in the intro, which is right where this type of information belongs. This avoids explaining the same ideas multiple times in the key, and gives the DM a logical, centralized spot to look up the details. Consolidation of information is an important element of good dungeon design.

Temperature plays a big role here: temps over 90 degrees Fahrenheit and under -20F reduce move by half and confer a -2 penalty to hit (but not to anything else?); temps under 10F only reduce move by 1/4, but still carry -2 to-hit penalty. Also, spells have a 75% chance to fail in opposite temp conditions (i.e., a fireball in an area of extreme cold), while spells in a like temp condition do 50% more damage. These sound like conditions custom-designed for this dungeon, as opposed to something found in the 7VoZ ruleset. In any case, the temperature extremes are mostly there to reduce the party's chance to hit in every combat. It feels very arbitrary.

It is also possible to get stuck in certain tight corridors (causing 1–6 damage!), and requiring you to either unwedge yourself or get someone to help pull/push you out. No guidance on size factors, but % chances to get stuck/unstuck could easily be adjusted as the DM sees fit. Maybe 7VoZ doesn't have small races.

The fossilized skeletons aren't affected by clerical spells (and presumably turning) because they're made of stone instead of bone. There's a note about creature stat blocks, indicating that monsters with an asterisk (*) after their AC require magic to-hit. That's a neat visual cue that saves space within a stat block, but then such a thing doesn't appear anywhere in the writeup. I suspect this is an artifact from the author's design template that snuck through.

In terms of specific interaction within the caves key, there's not a whole lot. The frigid cave with the torch-snuffing wind and petrifying wall is a confusing trap to parse. The right-hand (west) wall is marked with a 'T' which indicates the trapped wall. The solution is tied to to the cryptic message in the entrance cave warning "...against widderschynnes." If the players know what the archaic term "widdershins" means (i.e., moving around something in a counter-clockwise manner, so that it is always to your left-hand side), then they'll realize they should move in a clockwise direction along the left (east) wall of the cave.

This works fine if the party approaches from the north. If they approach from the south, however, then the clue drives them toward the west wall, right into the trap. Then again, there's nothing in this cave that would lead a party to connect it with the warning, so it's all probably a moot point and the PCs have a 50/50 shot at guessing correctly. It's also clear that if the characters have lanterns or magical light and/or don't touch the wall, they are in no danger.

A mechanic is established for climbing an icy wall: "Each point of dexterity over 10 provides a 1-in-6 chance of descending without issue." You obviously succeed automatically if you have a 17 or 18, but do you automatically slip and fall if you have less than 11 Dexterity? I don't really know how 7VoZ handles thing like this or how this might interact with the thief class (if there is one), so my slight confusion here may just be on my end.

The fight with the golem has two phases as the party wears the creature down: Its icy outer shell has one set of hp and when reduced to 0 hp it shatters, releasing a punishing blast of steam and a molten core with its own hp. Very simple mechanics to create a dynamic combat that even switches the cave environment between different temperature extremes, upending any protective spells the party may have cast to contend with the initial icy foe. That's good stuff.

Other than that and exploring the tight corridors, though, there really isn't anything else to mess with here. The dungeon action is almost entirely combat.

SCORE (INTERACTIVITY) = 2 / 5
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5) MODULARITY
(How easy would it be to drop/integrate the adventure into an existing campaign?)

This adventure site works great as a drop-in weirdo encounter area on the way to somewhere else, perfect for a Judges Guild Wilderlands-type setting where the countryside is sprinkled with lurid lairs and pockets of oddball goings-on.

7VoZ's sandals-and-sorcery vibe may be slightly challenging to certain campaign settings in terms of some of the game elements and rationales (like the silver standard), but probably nothing too severe. I don't know exactly how this writeup squares with the system, either, but I know the author is passionate about this version of the game so I trust his creative voice in that regard.

SCORE (MODULARITY) = 4 / 5
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6) USABILITY
(How much work will the referee have to do to run this adventure at the table tonight?)

It's hard to say because I don't know 7VoZ, but I feel like it's mostly runnable as is, once you figure out why the players would be there—and that might be as simple as, "Hey, you're traveling through some mountains; along your path you spy a dark cave with steam drifting out of it."

If you want to expand on the environment and build a backstory into the site, you may have to spend some time thinking though things, but even so I can't imagine it needing much work to resolve any issues or missing pieces.

SCORE (USABILITY) = 3 / 5
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7) OVERALL THOUGHTS

The site doesn't have a lot of oomph, and I wish the author had explored some of the tantalizing hints about chthonic temples and rivers of magma mentioned in the intro material. It may be easy to quibble about the details in the writeup, but it's clear he is having fun writing the adventure and that gives it a certain charm that is hard not to like.

FINAL SCORE = 2.8 / 5

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Mound of Akbarj

The Mound of Akbarj

Author: Kurt
System: AD&D
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 4–6

This is the second submission from Kurt, his first being The Caves of Despair. I applaud his fecundity, but I'm not keen on allowing two submissions to the same contest. It's not an explicit rule but I seem to recall a gentleman's agreement that it was one submission per contestant. Rule or not, I'm only considering his first submission for ranking purposes. In the spirit of the contest's objectives to promote the craft of good adventure writing, however, I will at least give this work a read-through and present my take on it.

Deep in the tangled forest of Ymi – an ancient burial mound, the tomb of an exalted wizard from ages past. Guarded fanatically by the hooved geese-men that are the Katar. A massive oak is said to grow from the barrow, its blood-infused branches bearing gemstones of exceedingly rare size and brilliance. It is well known in town that the tomb is protected by the birds of Ak, ferocious beasts that are capable of turning a man's flesh into solid stone.

Just from the introduction, its obvious this is going to be a weird adventure site, and I like weird. Barrow mounds are always fun to explore and the gem-laden tree sounds sufficiently intriguing enough to lure treasure-hungry adventurers. Not sure what to expect with "hooved geese-men" at this point in the read-through, but I'm fairly open-minded. Exotic names and strange creatures are right up my alley, so hopes are high. Even if "the birds of Ak" just turn out to be cockatrices, that bit of in-game flavor is great and gets me onboard right away.

Some details about the Wood of Ymi follow. A writing tip: While there is no substantive difference between a forest and a wood, we previously established that it is called the "[F]orest of Ymi" in the intro and, since this section is a direct reference to that particular name, it would have been a better idea to title the section "Forest of Ymi" as well, for consistency's sake. There's an encounter table with some fairly pedestrian monsters for a party of this level range, except for maybe the owlbear and an encounter with a couple weretigers. The majority of encounters will be with 3–6 of the horse-geese-men known as the Katar.

The next section describes the Katar as "...a degenerate race of humans (good) who have succumbed to inbreeding with both horses and birds - traditionally geese. (okay?!)" I'm still reading, but I'm not sure I'm down for where this is heading. I like weird; I'm not so much a fan of gonzo adventures that aren't really suited for actual campaign play. The Katari have horse legs and goose beaks, but retain the torso and arms of a normal human, with matted (?) feathers on their heads.

At first it sounds like they have two horse legs (like a satyr), but then the text says they fight as centaurs, including hoof attacks, so maybe they have the body of a horse instead, with the upper torso of a man. Do they have a human face with just a goose's beak, or is their face full-on goose? I'm tempted to prompt some AI art to help me visualize the thing, but I don't want to add that image to my regular nightmares. The Katari tribe numbers nearly 100 combatants: 45 males (fight as centaurs with two weapon attacks), 30 females (fight as normal centaurs), and 20 foals (1 HD mobs with a hoof attack).

The males can also emit a screech that does 1–4 damage to any non-Katari who can hear it within 100"—that's more than a half-mile range! Then it occurred to me that Kurt's previous submission used the same odd scale where 1" = 1'. Still, that's an automatic 1 damage minimum to everyone in 100' each round, so getting spells off in that area will be tricky. The text also doesn't say whether each individual's screech does separate damage, which would make this effect much nastier.

We get details about the barrow's exterior: A circular mound 200' in diameter by 20' high with a 10' diameter entrance hole. Four cockatrice (yep, the birds of Ak) guard the entrance, particularly the gem-laden tree standing atop the mound (the visual description of which should appear before the cockatrice info in the manuscript). The key for the dungeon proper begins next. A fork in the entrance hallway provides a good early decision-point. Going left, we encounter a zombie kamadan in a silenced hall, a library containing valuable (non-magic) scrolls, and a room of many trapped doors, one of which enters a seeming dead-end—a false tomb containing a single son of Kyuss and a pile of loot.

The route to the right winds its way deep into the barrow, through a trapped door into a large hall where a statue of a "demonic horse-headed bird" breathes a constant cloud of noxious steam that not only burns but also has a 5% chance to inflict mummy rot. Beyond this chamber is a lavish tomb with more loot protected by a pretty weak trap (50% to trigger for 1–6 damage... I'd be pissed if I paid for a trapped chest to protect my stuff, but it only works half the time). We then come to an oddball room with three rust monsters and 14,000 coins of silver and gold floating suspended in air, and past that, an empty room and then the final burial chamber containing the mummified Katari wizard—actually an eye of fear and flame. Defeating him earns the party a loot haul protected by another weak trap (1–8 damage) that feels like a petty DM's revenge on the victorious party—a final slap before you go, just to remind you who's in charge.
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1) THEME
(How strong/consistent is the adventure's premise, flavor, and setting?) 

The theme here is Classic Barrow Mound, which is more of a design template than it is a creative flavor. Most real-life barrow mounds were simple, single-chambered tombs covered over with dirt. Fantasy barrow mound dungeons tend to be more elaborate and built around a few core concepts: A single entrance; a fairly linear progression into the interior, though branching sections and side chambers are common; mechanical traps (and possibly magical puzzles, depending on the nature of the interred); non-living guardians (undead, constructs, demons, etc.); a false (outer) tomb; and a true (inner) tomb wherein lies the final battle/reward. 

This type of dungeon is often called a "gantlet"—a progressive, typically one-way route through a series of challenges to reach a discrete objective. The real-world term once referred to a specific punishment whereby the subject is forced to run between two rows of angry guys with sticks and a penchant for hitting things. The barrow mound version of a gantlet dungeon is typically differentiated by the types of guardians and traps found within. This one is the tomb of a wizard, so we should expect lots of supernatural creatures and magical tricks and traps (right?)

The monsters are appropriate to the template, and I appreciate the use of some of the more obscure AD&D monsters. The zombie kamadan is a neat idea and sort-of fits the exotic details given in the intro, but it lacks the kamadan's special ability (a sleep-gas breath weapon) and the text doesn't tell us how many snake heads it has (or if it even gets those attacks at all). So, being a kamadan doesn't really enter into it here; this is just a 5 HD zombie that turns as a ghast. With 4–7 snake heads, much better. I'll give the author the benefit of the doubt that he intends for it to have the snake attacks, but when a creature has variable features like this, it's good design philosophy to work those details out in advance.

The son of Kyuss is always a welcome and horrific monster, but I doubt one of them is going to be around very long against a capable party. The rust monsters are an odd inclusion but I can buy them as part of a magical trap befitting a wizard's tomb. For the final battle, the text describes the Katari wizard's corpse as a "...mummy that fights as an EYE OF FEAR AND FLAME (45 hp)." The Fiend Folio's EoFaF isn't described as an undead, though; it's a construct of the gods. Further evidence is that it's not listed on the Undead Subtable on p.115. Your take on this particular situation may depend on what the meaning of "as" is.

Treasure is decent but not great: there's potentially 10,000 gpv in gems on the tree outside if the gods of good fortune are with the players, so they have that going for them. Maybe. Inside, there's about 30k gpv in treasure, which isn't that much for a group of 5–6 adventurers, but then again, this site won't give them much of a challenge at 5th to 6th level, so reward vs. risk seems pretty generous, I suppose. A few of the treasure pieces are described, which is always good, though only one piece—a goose-shaped amulet—has any obvious connection to the expressed setting.

Magic items aren't thematic at all; in fact, they seem counterintuitive to what one would expect to find in a wizard's tomb. It makes me wonder whether a warrior was buried here in an original draft but the author changed it to a wizard then never updated the treasure? There's also not much to speak of: a +1 Military Pick (a sophisticated, not commonly proficient weapon), a +1 Bow / +2 vs. Lycanthropes, a Magic Saddle that doubles mounted speed, a +2 Greataxe, and a couple Potions of Delusion and Diminution. The "bow" is not identified as long or short, and AD&D doesn't have a greataxe, but reskinning a two-handed sword will work just fine (though there's still the proficiency problem).

If I'm the party's magic-user and we've trekked ALL the way here to the tomb of a wizard, only to find treasure of great use to a knight, with no spell scrolls or spellbook anywhere to be found, and the only arcane item of use being a potion of shrinkage, I'm going to be VERY unhappy.

SCORE (THEME) = 2 / 5
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2) MAP AND ART
(How complex/useful is the map and/or art? How easy is it to grok the layout?)

There's no exterior map of the mound, though one isn't really necessary as we're dealing with a big circle on the ground surrounded by forest. The interior dungeon map is a cell-phone pic of a hand-drawn layout with a few features and details indicated. The picture is taken at a slight angle so there is a perspective issue with the grid, but it doesn't hinder one's understanding of the dungeon layout. No actual scale is given, but textual clues indicate 10' squares. The map looks simple enough—two linear paths through a series of chambers to a dead-end room—but a trio of secret connecting passages injects some welcome complexity. 

I feel like there's a missed opportunity for more interesting design here, however. The route from the entrance to areas 4/5 > 6 > 7 is good. It looks like a branching, secondary route; linear, with some challenges then terminating in a seemingly dead-end room—this is the perfect setup for a false tomb. The "primary" route from the entrance to areas 1 and 2 is good, but I would have put the lavish tomb (area 3) between the secret doors to the east, and had the simple hallway (still with the connecting secret door) joining rooms 2 and 8. 

As designed, finding the secret door doesn't provide the party any benefit for taking the time and risk, and then making successful rolls; rather, finding it causes them to potentially miss the treasure in room 3 by not taking the "obvious" route through the door. They may still find the treasure later, but the secret passage doesn't accomplish anything interesting. Better to hide the loot behind the secret doors to reinforce good dungeoneering practices and make discovery worthwhile.

There's also two map errors, assuming the elevation change per length of stairs is consistent. If so, then areas 1–7 should all be on the same elevation, down two staircases. But there is an extra (third) stair between areas 3 and 4, which would put area 3 10' below area 2. Areas 3 and 8 should be on the same level (3 stairs down), but there are two stairs down in the secret passage between areas 2 and 8, which would put area 8 10' below area 3 (a total of 4 stairs down).  

The rest of the layout is good, though room 9 (empty) serves no purpose other than to waste the party's time before the main event. There's no further exploration or time demand at this point—all the party needs to do is go through the only other door and round the corner to reach the end. Either put some final test in here (such as making it a second false tomb and hiding room 10 behind a trapped secret door), or make it the true tomb. As written, this room just prolongs the session unnecessarily.

SCORE (MAP/ART) = 3 / 5
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3) CLARITY
(How easy is the writeup to read/parse quickly? How well does the information flow?)

The margins are wide and there is plenty of white space to make for easy scanning. Key descriptions are written in unspaced bullets which doesn't impede readability that much, though I might have used all that available room on the page to add some spacing between bullets and maybe decrease the indent. Those are minor layout quibbles, though.

There isn't a ton of detail in the writeup, but it does an effective job of conveying just enough to allow the DM to elaborate if necessary. There's no order-of-battle anywhere; creatures simply inhabit a room and exist until the party comes within range. It's an economy of description that I shouldn't like but it works here, occasionally skipping description altogether and giving only a mechanic for what happens when the party enters. This lends itself well to the fast-paced gantlet-style, where getting through the dungeon means steady progress forward rather than an opportunity to explore or suss out deeper meaning. Just get to the point, do the thing, and keep pushing toward the end-goal.

I'd offer some advice here about the order of the key's descriptions. The way the key is written isn't "wrong," but it flows better to follow a route to its natural conclusion relative to the dungeon layout. Here, we're faced with two routes: left to a false tomb or right to the true tomb. Granted, the false tomb has a secret door allowing the party to continue past, but this route appears to be a dead-end with a natural conclusion. Better to have numbered the key starting to the left (i.e., area 4 would become 1, area 5 would be 2, 6 would be 3, and 7 would be 4). THEN shift the key to the right-hand route and continue with area 5 (formerly area 1), and so on following the direct path all the way to the final chamber.

SCORE (CLARITY) = 3 / 5
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4) INTERACTIVITY/INNOVATION
(How well does the adventure use the rules to create interesting play?)

By the time they reach the mound, the party may have already encountered and defeated (or befriended) some of the Katar. If so, nothing in the writeup prior to reaching this point describes the Katari practice of wearing special sashes that the cockatrice guardians will recognize and subsequently abstain from attacking a person wearing one. Granted, if I've had time to read the text before the session, I might have made a note to include the sashes among the Katari's belongings; if not and I miss this detail, then I can't describe the sashes now or I'll tip the party off to use them here.

There are some dungeoneering tasks inside: finding traps and locating secret doors for the most part. There's a nasty spear-trapped door that does 3d6 damage, which feels right for the level range. The rest of the tomb's traps are weak-sauce—simple mechanical traps (arrows, scythe) that do either 1d6 or 1d8 damage, which likely won't register more than mild annoyance on the victim's part. A good trap has an impact, even if it just causes a significant amount of damage, but the traps here are not very dangerous, imaginative, or situation-changing.

A few obvious clues allow the party to discern the hazard in area 2, though opening the door won't harm them. It would have made for an effective door trap if the steam blasted into the room and hurt somebody. The steam room is mildly dangerous, but the PCs can see the far side and should be able to navigate it in a single round, and if they hold their breath (which they will unless they're dumb) then there is no danger of mummy rot. Finding the secret door would require a minimum of 10 rounds of exposure to steam (10d4 damage), so unless the party can disperse the steam for that time, the party isn't likely to find the door (which is what the tomb's creator would want).

The room of many doors is interesting, but it isn't clear how the trap works. It either shoots when ONE of the six false doors is opened (which is how it's written), or it opens when ANY false door is opened (meaning 6 of the 8 doors—technically 6 of 7 because the party knows the door they came through isn't trapped).

The room with the floating rust monsters and coins doesn't really work for me, either. Touching the coins releases the levitation spell, but this doesn't have any practical effect on the situation other than to make it possible for the rust monsters to attack. Presumably, a spell caster could defeat the rust monsters at range because the text doesn't say if/how they may respond. Then the party could touch the coins to recover the pile, but there's no indication beforehand that touching the coins will do anything, so it would be pure guesswork on the players' part to do it like this. It would be reasonable to rule that characters could pass through the room without touching the coins, so the party could continue on without expending resources on this encounter (the loot's not going anywhere).

Other than that, the party mostly just enters a room, looks around, kills whatever is there, and collects the treasure. Given that this is a wizard's tomb, I expected more magical gewgaws to interact with.

SCORE (INTERACTIVITY) = 2 / 5
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5) MODULARITY
(How easy would it be to drop/integrate the adventure into an existing campaign?)

Fairly easy site to plug in, I think, and easy to shed the few gonzo pieces that might clash with your campaign's setting. That's kind of the beauty of a barrow mound dungeon... they can be anywhere and anything. There's nothing that grounds this site in one reality or the other, so anywhere remote or well-protected by its surroundings will be perfect.

SCORE (MODULARITY) = 4 / 5
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6) USABILITY
(How much work will the referee have to do to run this adventure at the table tonight?)

Not much is required to run it as-is, but some changes may be desired to make the site more interesting. Some of the setting details (like the horse-goose-men) may also need some work to fit your campaign, but most of it is there for you and its actually pretty vanilla, despite the exotic intro text.

SCORE (USABILITY) = 3 / 5
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7) OVERALL THOUGHTS

I recall reading snippets of conversation on the CAG Discord channel about this adventure that lead me to believe this was kind of an in-joke/creative exercise between a few of the members, who are cited as having come up with the concept. As an output of that exercise, I can accept the over-the-top weirdness with the geese-men as just a bit of fun, and the gem-tree is good stuff, but the rest of it turns into fluff—competent enough but pretty forgettable.

As a session or two of adventure for a few pals sitting around drinking beer and having a hoot, it works fine. Is it good? It's not not-good, but its also not very good. As with the author's first submission, it just doesn't live up to the promising intro that made it sound like my party was in for something different this session.

FINAL SCORE = 2.8 / 5

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: The Cleft in the Crag

Continuing with my series of reviews for Coldlight Press' Adventure Site Contest. This adventure is written for OD&D, which I confess I don't have much experience with (and none at all in terms of actually running or playing it). I started playing D&D back in 1981 with Holmes Basic, which I understand to be mostly an edit/rewrite of OD&D. I know there are some important assumptions that are different from Basic and AD&D, but that all three systems are comparable from a conceptual point of view.

I did my best to check references against online sources, but if I make any system errors in this review, I plead incompetence and will note them accordingly if someone corrects me.

The Cleft in the Crag

Author: J. Allen/Graveslugg
System: OD&D (3 LBBs plus GH plus custom)
Party Size: ?
Level Range: 4-6

The Temple in the Crag was made long ago by paragons of LAW to seal away an artifact of CHAOS from the world. The Temple and Tomb-Halls are constructed in such a way as to make it nigh impossible for the CHAOS aligned to gain entry. 

The overview explains where the various rules references throughout the manuscript may be found in the OD&D books (very helpful and appreciated!), and gives some suggestions on placing the dungeon and reading the map and key. The designer's notes also describe the tomb and the artifact contained within it as "...purposefully difficult to interact with, likely necessitating multiple trips and employing Sages." This in reference to the builders of the site, who created it with one purpose: Keep everyone out.

The rumors/hooks section contains just two pieces of info: The temple of LAW is a vault for a CHAOS artifact, and lizardmen are kidnapping villagers back to the cleft but no one has the courage to do anything about it. Enter the party.

We start with the characters standing before the dungeon's exterior entrance, a temple facade at the back of the titular cleft and concealed by a natural stone overhang. The exterior of the dungeon is evocative and the text does a great job with the map to help the DM visualize and describe the area. A careful party may notice tracks if they look around: One set of human footprints makes a beeline for the temple steps while another set of reptilian tracks leads into a nearby cave where a squad of lizardmen guards a dark hole into the earth. Parties who make too much noise at the entrance may alert the lizardmen (and possibly their entire lair).

So, two entrances that lead into completely different routes through the sprawling dungeon (very good). There's a LOT packed in this site: 33 total encounter areas divided into 6 thematic sections over 2 levels. They connect in places, but finding the various pathways between each section requires some delving.

Taking the facade entrance, the party enters the Temple Proper, where they are immediately confronted by a pair of gargoyle guardians. Beyond is a table with blindfolds, tomes filled with the names of the judged, and a warning inscribed in a forgotten language: “By the glory of LAW the pillar of the Watcher will judge those worthy and lay plain the sins of interlopers.” Within the inner sanctum, a broken bridge spans a deep bonepit. On the opposite side stands a tall pillar draped in tapestries obviously torn from the nearby wall. Will the characters remove the coverings and submit to the judgment of the Pillar of the Watcher? 

Exploring elsewhere in the abandoned temple provides clues to its cadre of former Guardians and the temple's day-to-day activities. There's some treasure to be found, mostly regular old loot except for a pile of carved bear claws of stone inlaid with gold (don't eat 'em). A dead-end dining hall proves to be a way down to the lower level for attentive characters who may notice the off-center table or the slugs that cover every wall except an illusionary one concealing the stairway down.

The Temple Proper is connected to the Upper Tomb-Halls, a series of twisting passages covered in geometric carvings. Ritual labyrinths are a common feature of ancient temple ruins, and the design of this one is flowing and feels purposeful. It's easy to imagine processions of penitent monks weaving through these halls while chanting (and perhaps thwacking themselves on the head with a board). Shadows "peel" off the walls pretty frequently (great verb to describe them), rolling a check each turn, but a party at this level should be able to handle them easily. The labyrinth surrounds two inner rooms with floor mosaics that open at the touch of one deemed "worthy" by the Pillar of the Watcher. Evidence of acid being poured on the mosaics...a clue!

The Lower Tomb chambers feature more shadows, a gorgon (!), a gray ooze, and a trio of mummies each wearing a powerful magic item: a Ring of Spell Turning (nice), a Talisman of Lawfulness (though wouldn't it zap the mummy for 5-30 damage?), and a Scarab of Enraging Enemies (which feels like a CHAOTIC item). Perhaps controversially for many DMs, the penultimate room contains a pair of 14 HD living statues shaped like the temple's werebear guardians with gems in their foreheads. Defeating these statues and prying the gems loose are required to open the portal to the vault containing the chaos artifact, but the statues can only be physically harmed by a LAWFUL character wielding a +3 weapon (luckily the lizardman chief down in the caves has one). Spells still affect them, though they are immune to mind-affecting magic and have 75% magic resistance (as a balrog, we are told), meaning that, based on the suggested 4th to 6th level range, the statues have 100% or greater resistance to the party's spells.

Beyond the portal lies an extra-dimensional area—an open field beneath a bright midday sky (but with no visible sun). A stone dais rises from the grass, where three urssasu (more powerful lamassus with winged bear bodies) protect an ivory rod capped with a crystal ball and exuding black vapors. The urssasu immediately attack non-Lawful characters while commanding Lawful characters to politely GTFO. The evil artifact, if it can be wrested away from these three 7+2 HD spirit beings, acts as both a Staff of Wizardry and a Crystal Ball, but does damage to anyone holding it based on one's alignment—including CHAOS-aligned characters. When it is removed from the dais, the extra-dimensional space becomes a real room as depicted on the map, but with a 200-ft. high ceiling. I assume this is a typo for 20', otherwise this would destroy part of the upper temple, according to the map.

The key continues, describing two other sections of dungeon on the lower level: The functional areas of the temple (a kitchen, a repository) and a series of caves where the lizardmen live. Zefeth the Warlock, a NEUTRAL 8th-level MU with only 5 HD (this may be an OD&D thing), dwells in the Lower Temple Works. He's been geased by a lich to find the artifact but obviously has no hope of attaining it himself, so maybe the party will help him? There's some good treasure in this room: a few nice potions, a Jug of Alchemy, a Carpet of Flying, a Wand of Secret Doors and Trap Detection, and a Ring of Telekinesis. The text states his spellbooks are "not at this location," but doesn't say where they are. Questions arise then as to how he relearns his spells and what will happen if the party beats him and demands his spellbook. Zefeth should also be part of the wandering encounters table.

There's also a Ring of Invisibility hidden in a pile of bio-refuse here. Some referees feel that "forcing" players to root through disgusting dungeon trappings to find treasure or a concealed route is really just an opportunity for a sadistic DM to humiliate his players (and they don't mind emphatically telling you so). I find that to be an absurd idea. Disgust is as powerful an emotion as fear or anger, and hiding something narratively important behind a disgusting obstacle is a legit literary and cinematic trope, one that the AD&D rules support (hell, disgust is the otyugh's whole schtick). Your players' tolerance for such things should weigh in on your decision to include them in an adventure, obviously, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with provoking disgust to deter/inspire players as long as you don't make the party's success contingent on it (in that case, these over-squeamish DMs might have a point).

In the back room of the Lower Temple Works is a cavern filled with huge slugs including 3 GIANT slugs with 12 HD (!) each. This is the backdoor into the lizardman caves. The front door is the hole discovered near the dungeon entrance. If the party decides to explore by descending into the hole rather than entering the Temple Proper, they come into a series of caves and tunnels through which a subterranean waterway flows. There are 40 lizardmen in the lair, so the party is likely to have a big fight on their hands here, especially if the alarm has been raised. The cavernous setting permits the lizardmen to set up ambushes and get around to the party's flanks without exposure to spell or missile fire. Their chieftain is a 4HD reptile with a +3 Spear and a Ring of Regeneration. Hopefully the party is able to use stealth and hit-and-run tactics to whittle down the enemies, but it'll be difficult. There's some good monetary treasure here, about 9,000 gp worth.

Other than the lizardmen, there's a wandering umber hulk that could prove tough and some yellow mold that shouldn't be a problem (though it will be invisible to anyone scouting ahead with infravision, so it could make for a nasty surprise). There's a cave filled with bio-luminescent fungal trees. Another pair of caves contains luminescent blue rock that produces a weird anti-magic effect which lingers for a few turns after leaving the area. In one of these caves is a pool of water that can be collected and consumed later as potions of 75% spell resistance.

If I've counted correctly, there's about 47,000 XP to be had here (not counting the CHAOS artifact), about 8–12k apiece for a party of 4—6 adventurers. My understanding of OD&D is that you generally have much larger parties (maybe 8–12 PCs and henchmen), so the take ends up being much less in that case.
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1) THEME
(How strong/consistent is the adventure's premise, flavor, and setting?) 

There is a much bigger scenario at play here than is obvious at first read: This temple was inhabited at one time by a monastic order of werebear guardians. To join their ranks, one was administered a ritual test of worthiness before a powerful entity of LAW known as the Watcher, embodied in a "gnarled and pitted stone pillar crowned with an eye casting rays like the sun." In addition, a warlock roams the dungeon searching for the artifact, evident by many strange clues sprinkled throughout the text (the human footprints at the entrance, the tapestries on the pillar, use of acid to try getting through a secret door, a trashed barracks, the illusion in the dining hall, etc.) These seemingly unrelated little hints of activity begin to add up to something if a party is paying careful attention. 

If this adventure site has a theme, I'd say it's plain old D&D. The temple/tomb and lair aspects are pretty vanilla (which I have no problem with at all), and the monster selection, while varied, seems mostly random and without any connection to the stated background. The religious order of (long-dead) werebear guardians is an interesting curiosity, but irrelevant to anything that happens in the dungeon. The lizardmen are obviously squatters and OD&D describes them as NEUTRAL-aligned "aquatic monsters" that "live either wholly under water or in very wet places" which is not this setting. I'm okay with that... actual lizards live in rocks and caves, too. The rest of the site's guardian monsters—gargoyles, shadows, gorgon, and mummies—are all creatures of CHAOS. Why/how are they being employed to protect a Temple of LAW?

Alignment plays a big role in this scenario—as it does in OD&D—but LAW and CHAOS are more closely related to "good" and "evil" in this regard. That brings up a significant question: Why would LAWFUL forces want to infiltrate a "holy vault" to potentially release an artifact of CHAOS into the world? The entire premise hinges on at least one LAWFUL character willing to be the instrument of release, but isn't doing so a CHAOTIC act?

The trappings of the temple don't seem particularly integrated, but do make sense for what this space is designed to do. A temple of LAW has a bone pit full of the sacrificial remains of the unworthy? That's pretty hardcore and seems a little off-brand, but maybe. The Pillar of the Watcher is suitably evocative, but the random chance of lycanthropy upon viewing it feels "chaotic" in nature. A NEUTRAL character seeing this artifact of LAW becomes helpless with vomiting for a turn, which feels counterintuitive (an awed or cowed reaction, perhaps even mild fear, seems more thematic and appropriate). CHAOS deserves what it gets and the eye trauma nicely matches the eye of LAW on the pillar, though no-save permanent blindness is rough (can you cure this in OD&D?)

There's a "skeleton of a werebear" in one of the entrance chambers but wouldn't it just look like a human skeleton? Upon review, the descriptions of OD&D lycanthropes don't explicitly mention shapeshifting... are they just beast-men? Werebears are a LAWFUL/NEUTRAL creature in OD&D, so they fit the setting, but why werebears? Nothing about this place screams Ursine Temple and the party never encounters actual living werebears, so the werebear guardians are really just set dressing. No mention is made as to what happened to the other guardians or why the heck they were werebears, specifically. I also wondered why they bothered manning the temple if its intended as a secure vault; why not just seal it up? And why is the temple now abandoned? Where did everyone go?

Other than the alignment-heavy interaction, a strong theme just never shone through for me. But maybe it doesn't need one? The site works much better as a template upon which a DM could imprint a stronger theme/background if they wanted to. I don't give fractional stars for individual criteria scores, but if I did I would give this 2.5 stars for Theme. I'm bumping it to 3 because, despite my issues with it, I think the site as written would seem congruous enough to the players and be reasonably fun to both play and DM (though the culmination is likely to provoke some player objections).

SCORE (THEME) = 3 / 5
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2) MAP AND ART
(How complex/useful is the map and/or art? How easy is it to grok the layout?) 

The hand-drawn maps are well-designed and the detailed bits of interior decoration help orient the DM well. No map scale is listed, but textual clues in the key indicate 10' squares. The layout is nicely circuitous; I think the labyrinth area of C2-C4 in particular would be fun to explore. There are some good elevation changes within the levels to challenge mapmakers, as well.

The connections between levels are pretty clear, though by my reckoning, a 100' tall spiral staircase separates the temple dining room from the kitchen if a consistent elevation change of 10' per 20' length of stairs is assumed. You can easily handwave this and probably no one will ever notice, but it jumped out at me (and probably would if I was mapping as a player because I'm a weirdo like that).

Maintaining consistency of such elements is important for a dungeon map, because it's a primary source of information for the players as they descend into an unknown area. Unless you specifically call out inconsistencies in the text and then relay that to the players, the risk of creating unnecessary confusion is high. A good example of how to do it is in the Court of the Watcher (B4). According to the map, the bonepit floor would appear to be 10' below the floor of the chamber itself, but the text describes the pit as being 20' deep. That note prompts me as a DM to describe these steps as incredibly steep, which would make sense for a sacrificial pit.

SCORE (MAP/ART) = 4 / 5
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3) CLARITY
(How easy is the writeup to read/parse quickly? How well does the information flow?)

The text is well written and the layout is pleasant to read, Information flow is pretty good though the manuscript could use a bit of editing and some minor reordering of a few sections. 

For example, the dungeon key for the Temple Proper starts with area B1, then turns west to describe B2, then comes back out to B1 and heads north to describe B3 and B4, before coming back through B1 and B2 to describe B5–B7. Ideally, you want to pick a direction/route and follow it to its "conclusion" relative to the rest of the dungeon. In this case, I would recommend going straight north and describing B1 > B3 > B4 (and renumbering them B1–3 to reflect the new progression), then shifting out to B2 (which would become B4) and continuing on as written.

My chief complaint about clarity in this adventure is that it's difficult to understand the big picture at first. Details about the order of the werebear guardians and their ritual of worthiness, as well as the warlock-on-a-mission down in the dungeon would have been handy information to give the DM at the outset. I loved the clues to the warlock's presence and appreciated the little insights into his activities, but only in hindsight. As written, I was tracking these clues as separate from each other and only later figured out that they were all related to the warlock. Could be a me-problem but, same as with the temple's background, I had to work backward to put everything together and it wasn't always obvious. 

Any confusion could have been cleared up with a quick contextual explanation for the DM in the overview. When I read through a second time after absorbing everything, it all made sense and was a far more enjoyable experience. I'm a big fan of piecing the story of an environment together via dungeon details and party exploration, but that task is for the players. As a designer, you want to make it easy on the DM to sync up with an adventure site's context, especially if they're likely to be pulling it out on game night to run on the fly.

SCORE (CLARITY) = 3 / 5
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4) INTERACTIVITY/INNOVATION
(How well does the adventure use the rules to create interesting play?)

In the opening encounter, there is a good use of a morale check to help the DM determine a monster's course of action BEFORE combat begins. A positive result means the confident lizardmen stage an immediate ambush; a negative result means the wary lizardmen withdraw and rouse their comrades to action. I'm not experienced with how Morale works in OD&D, but I can certainly extrapolate how to implement it from the description. I like that this randomizes the lizardmen's attitude using game mechanics, but its also intuitive enough to let the DM just decide based on gut feeling.

The major interactive piece in the dungeon concerns the party's judgment by the Pillar of the Watcher in the main temple. Simply viewing the pillar constitutes "judgment." LAWFUL characters are blessed for one month (!) and have a 1-in-3 chance of being stricken with werebear lycanthropy (becoming a temple guardian, I guess). They also become able to navigate a trick hallway and can open the secret doors down to the Lower Tombs. As previously described, NEUTRAL characters get sick while CHAOTIC characters are blinded. Having a LAWFUL character submit to the pillar's judgment and its consequences is the only method of entering the Lower Tombs where the artifact is located, so you'll be relying on the party's tolerance for submitting to the pillar's judgment in order to engage an entire section of content and achieve the adventure's goal. 

There is an interesting room hung with strips of fireproof cloth with messages in a forgotten language. The litanies may provide important information to the party, but only if they magically translate the language first and then read every strip of cloth. Otherwise, there's only a 1-in-3 chance they find the info. This is a little unforgiving, though not outrageous. Rather than concealing the info behind a spell AND random chance, I would just give them the message as the "overall gist" of the litanies if they expend a spell to translate the words. 

The anti-magic caves are really cool, but they don't have a lasting impact on anything and can't be used to manipulate any element of the dungeon (other than to make the warlock even easier to kill). I would have loved to see something here that provides an alternate method of getting the artifact or overcome something else in the dungeon. There is no in-game explanation for the null effect and players will likely spin their wheels trying to figure out what's going on here, probably by excavating some of that weird blue rock. One wonders why the forces of LAW didn't just hide the artifact in here and seal the caverns off.

The fungal trees bear grotesque fruit that heals you a single time when you eat one, but then makes you sick if you eat another (oh no, more disgusting content). Despite any ethical concerns a DM might have about "forcing" players to eat something gross in order to gain a healing benefit (/s), it's perfectly reasonable to assume an injured character may eat a second one. Making them immediately sick when they do, without telegraphing some kind of warning, is sort-of a dickish move but not too egregious.

The artifact vault looks like a Kobayashi Maru to me, unwinnable for any normal party (though I don't how normal it is for a 6th level character to have a +3 weapon in OD&D). There is no way for a party to know the difficulty they'll have without a round or two of (potentially fatal) combat, though they can easily escape. Even so, assuming the LAWFUL party beats the guardian statues, then reaches the inner vault, the LAWFUL guardians therein immediately command the characters to leave, which a LAWFUL character would do. Doing otherwise puts them into another incredibly-hard fight to win an artifact they can't possibly use. I recognize that this is the adventure's intent, but looking at it through a player's eyes, I'm afraid it would be a deeply dissatisfying conclusion.

Other than those bits of limited interactivity, your players will be mostly fighting monsters and gathering loot. Core D&D, no doubt, but I would have liked a few more things to play with and some greater impact on the dungeon for fiddling with things.

SCORE (INTERACTIVITY) = 2 / 5
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5) MODULARITY
(How easy would it be to drop/integrate the adventure into an existing campaign?)

Text guidance says this site "may be situated anywhere there is a run of cliffs surrounding or partially hemming in a region of tribal villages (or similar)." There's nothing stopping you, thematically or environmentally, from placing this site anywhere, however. It lends itself well to remote hills or mountains, and the scenario is generic enough (in a good way) that it could be easily adapted to a DM's campaign world.

SCORE (MODULARITY) = 4 / 5
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6) USABILITY
(How much work will the referee have to do to run this adventure at the table tonight?)

There's not much to do to the dungeon, per se, but the gigantic question of WHY a party of LAWFUL characters would travel to this site to do the thing is something you're going to need to work out. The text doesn't give you much to hang your hat on unless the PCs are: a) hired by a tribe to rescue captured villagers; or b) tribal warriors looking to save their village; or c) agents of CHAOS looking to recover the artifact. Options a) and b) don't require the PCs to engage with the temple, while PCs from option c) won't be able to accomplish their task unless they can somehow coerce a LAWFUL dupe into opening the way and defeating all the vault guardians.

You'll also have to decide where to drop this site into your world and work out some setting details, but that's perfectly normal (and often desirable) for an adventure site. One final usability note, and this is a personal taste thing: When including monster stat blocks, it's handy when the designer provides the creatures' hit points, especially if only a few monsters are encountered.

SCORE (USABILITY) = 3 / 5
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7) OVERALL THOUGHTS

There's a kernel of a good dungeon in here, and it has all the elements of a great adventure site, but the point of the adventure as laid out in the overview doesn't hold up well under scrutiny, the hooks aren't very sharp, and the interactions with the dungeon are fairly lifeless. Fortunately, most of these issues can be juiced up by a DM willing to polish a rough stone into a jewel.

FINAL SCORE = 3.2 / 5

Adventure Site Contest 2 REVIEW: Troll Market

Troll Market

Author: Rob_S
System: AD&D
Party Size: 3–4
Level Range: 1–3

Poppy the Magic-user is frantic; her baby, Par, was taken. She made a deal with Elf Lord Orion for her first born but reneged. Orion oversees the Troll Market, a nexus between distant points across the world. Poppy, barred from entering the market, needs help. The market entrance lies within the roots of an ancient tree. It only appears under an ‘old moon’ which will last another two nights.

The adventure starts with an immediate prompt to launch the party into action. The ancient tree in question is a "towering gold-leafed beech" at the top of the hill. Four gibbets hang from the branches, one of which is occupied by an illusionist who begs for help. Giving him water earns the merciful character a timed-release Change Self spell. (But wouldn't he rather someone release him instead?) Steps of cyclopean stone descend between two roots, down a fairy stair to a pair of "verdigris-covered copper doors shaped like intertwined branches" (lovely).

A clerk and elf guards wait beyond the gate to welcome visitors, taking their names and reasons for visiting, and giving each a special coin that teleports them out of the fair if they lose it or their "pass" expires. At this point, the party learns that "Only daggers, staff and leather is [sic] permitted within." This restriction is either going to be rejected completely by the party, meaning they walk away from the adventure, or they're going to split up so that a few go in while the others watch their stuff (this is not good). Maybe I game with jerks, but my players would undoubtedly say, "Okay, see you later!" and hit the road. Then I'm back to rolling random encounters.

There's an interesting and thematic bit about requiring all holy symbols be hidden from view (with a commensurate penalty to the elves in this place who can see one). This could be another big obstacle for haughty players who may be hard-pressed to go along. I also wonder if the penalty applies to elf characters as well while they're down here. It's a neat wrinkle, but one that doesn't have any foundation in the AD&D rules unless you've made it part of your campaign world.

Those who abide by the fair's policies are given entry to the cavernous space. To the east is a market fair and open-air tavern, while a barracks and mansion stand to the west. In the center of the market is a statue of a giant troll, around which floats a smirking moon—some sort of magical lamp that illuminates the fair grounds. That's cool. Of the 15 stalls in the market, only four are identified and only three are detailed. The unkeyed stall is identified only as a bookseller looking to sell the spellbook of the illusionist from the entrance. That and the seller's description are all we're given about this particular business, which is a shame because there's a lot of fantasy potential in a fairy bookseller. 

The other businesses are a weapons shop run by a "clean-shaven dwarf" and a "dispassionate exiled [mind flayer]" that also traffics in magical weapons; an apothecary run by an elf reincarnated as an eloquent fox (neat!) who will sell rumors and even a map of the lord's house; and a zoocopeia, (or zoocopia, Latin for an "abundance of animals"). Here, players can buy from an inventory of bêtes fantastiques, including a blink dog pup, cockatrice eggs, and a dancing bear—all fake of course, offered up by a shady goblin and his troll assistant. 

Adjacent to the market stalls is the tavern, serving drinks and simple fare: either roasted snails on skewers or fried leftovers (so, fried roast snails). Here, the party encounters a dozen customers, though only two are actually described: a halfling poet (0-level commoner?) and his unspecified "entourage," and a troupe of minstrels led by a currently-drunk satyr. There are no wandering encounters and the rest of the market is not described, so whatever else happens to the players while they explore is up to the DM. On the opposite side of the cavern are the barracks, where the fair's 10 elf guards sleep on bunkbeds and put their stuff in footlockers; the Elven Gardens which are described only as "well-tended;" and the modest house and walled garden of Lord Orion, the ruler of this pocket dimension.

It's a neat little space, and I think there's lots you could do with it, but as written I'm not sure what the adventure is asking the PCs to do. The magic-user entered into a contract and reneged, so the other party in the matter has rightfully collected their due. She's asking the party to enter the market and fix her poor choices by retrieving her baby, I guess (it's never quite made explicit), but she offers a poor rationale and no reward to intercede on her behalf. Then, even if the party agrees, they're not going to be predisposed to disarm in order to enter. Assuming all or some of them agree to the restrictions and enter the market, however, what are they supposed to do then? 

There isn't a mystery who took the child, and its obvious the lord lives in the most prominent building. Do they just head straight for the house and kick the door in? Or do they visit the market first to interact with the locals before going to the house and kicking the door in? Is there a way to satisfy Lord Orion without kicking the door in? Do they break into the house somehow and try to steal the baby? Is what the players doing here lawful and/or good (it's not required of them to be Lawful Good to play the adventure, I'm simply asking from an ethical point of view, because who but a misguided Lawful Good character would even attempt this?) Orion's alignment is Chaotic Neutral, but if you take the baby-payment out of the equation, he's done nothing objectively wrong. It's Poppy the Magic-user who's the bad actor and the party who are the antagonists here.

The manor is protected by the fair's ten elf guards (2nd-level fighters), Orion's personal guard (four 3rd-level fighters), his valet (2nd-level elf magic-user), his bodyguard (5th-level fighter), and two plate-armored, halberd-wielding skeletons (who can only do 1–6 damage by the book). Orion himself is a 5th-level fighter/5th-level magic-user. ALL of these potential enemies are 90% immune to sleep and charm (100% in the case of skeletons). A pair of 2+2 HD krenshar (from 3e) also roam about. 

There's absolutely no way a party of 3–4 low-level characters is going to fight their way through this place, and their odds of sneaking about without raising an alarm are slim. Even if they get in and find the baby's location—in the dungeon (!), behind bars (!!), and protected by teleport-sleep traps (!!!)—and somehow rescue the infant, they only have minutes (maybe up to 3 turns) to escape the house and somehow exit the gate without anyone noticing they're carrying Lord Orion's latest "acquisition." 

It's a huge ask of a bottom-level party and, again, the writeup provides very little motivation for all this effort with seemingly little chance of success. A group of clever and forgiving players will be required for this adventure.

1) THEME
(How strong/consistent is the adventure's premise, flavor, and setting?) 

The fairy market is a solid fantasy trope, and this one has plenty of flavor in that direction. The market only appears for three days each month during the "old moon," which is the last sliver of a waning crescent moon before the "new moon" appears. Very cool. The text states that the entrance connects to other locations, which is also an interesting idea, though no method to travel to other areas is given. Throughout the text there's lots of good descriptions that support the setting, making it easy to imagine the space.

As mentioned in my review of Fog Valley Retreat, I love elves as sinister, almost alien actors, if not outright villains. They're unconcerned with who is currently in power in the human lands because it won't matter to them in the long run. Their motives are opaque and Byzantine, given that they have ample time to build layers of intrigue and create complexity. It's easy to cast Lord Orion's actions here as villainous, but its not particularly evil. It's never stated why he wants the baby or what he intends to do with it (though real-world fairy legends give us plenty of leads), nor why he has placed the infant behind all these protections—does he suspect Poppy is coming for her baby? We're never given Poppy's stats, so maybe she is someone that Orion fears.

Appropriate to true fairy tales, there are elements of menace and the supernatural here. The elves' aversion to holy symbols is one example. The mind flayer may discover the party's intentions and blackmail them into delivering the drunken satyr to him so that he may feed. Worst/best of all, the baby's nanny is a 10-year old human waif who has forgotten her previous life away from the elf-lord's clutches (a portent of the infant's fate, as well). These provide ripe fruits for the DM to elaborate upon and develop, which is one of the objectives of a good adventure site.

The monsters here are varied and mostly thematic, but only if you convert their AD&D versions into sort-of classic fey creatures. Trolls and goblins in the context of "normal" AD&D probably wouldn't associate with elves (and vice versa), but if these are all fairyland goblins, trolls, and elves, then we're good to go. The mind flayer seems really out of place for a fairy setting, and I'm not sure why it hasn't taken over the place (who here could withstand it?), but it's not a deal-breaker. The skeletons and krenshar feel off-target for a fairy setting, as well. There are so many great fey creatures in AD&D: Why not use them instead?

Treasure is fine, thematically, and almost exclusively found in the manse unless the party tries ripping off one of the stalls for small change. Much of it is the form of stuff (books, porcelain and silverware, a tapestry, wine bottles, a quality lute, etc.) Proper loot (coins, jewelry, etc.) is only found in Orion's vault or on his person (~3,200 gpv total). The other NPCs have no loot. Magical treasure amounts only to a broken Horn of Blasting that works once but injures the user, a few MU scrolls, a Wand of Magic Missiles, and a pair of low-level spellbooks. A good haul if the party has an arcane spell-caster and/or sells the books, but not very much return otherwise for what they will be put through to get it.

SCORE (THEME) = 3 / 5
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2) MAP AND ART
(How complex/useful is the map and/or art? How easy is it to grok the layout?)

The map is simple and easy to read, though fairly abstract. It was drawn on engineering graph paper with both a quarter-inch and 1-inch grids. The grid is very faint, however, and the quarter-inch grid (representing 10' per square) is difficult to see at all. The footprint of the manse also changes between the cavern map (where it's ~40x60') and the detail map (where it's about 35x40'). The house is 2 floors plus a dungeon below. 

It might work better if the house was for small fairy-folk like brownies or pixies, but as a residence of an elf-lord, his bodyguard, and his valet (plus their cook), it's tiny. Inexplicably, the floorplan isn't aligned to the grid. Same size issue with the barracks, which is only about 25x50' (1,250 sq. ft.), uncomfortably small for a cadre of 10 elf guards.

I don't mind the rough, schematic-style of the map, though the grid and scale issues detract from its effectiveness. The manse map has some nicely simple icons for the status of various doors, and everything is well-labeled. 

I questioned the inclusion of the manse occupants' schedules on the map page. On the one hand, this seems like information that belongs in the body text. On the other, I could argue that the schedule is a map of time and therefore this is a legit place to put it. It may be an edge-case, but I won't deduct anything for it.

SCORE (MAP/ART) = 2 / 5
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3) CLARITY
(How easy is the writeup to read/parse quickly? How well does the information flow?)

The manuscript is written in an almost stream-of-consciousness manner with little regard to grammar structure—mostly simple phrases and incomplete sentences (which is totally acceptable for a dungeon write-up as long as the writing is concise and clear, which it is in this case). The flow of information occasionally jumps around, sometimes jarringly, skipping suddenly and without context from an area description to details about NPCs or rumors, and then back again. The margins are tight but the text is justified so while the page looks crowded, it's not difficult to read. Bolded headers and NPC descriptions in shaded boxes help locate areas and people quickly.

SCORE (CLARITY) = 3 / 5
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4) INTERACTIVITY/INNOVATION
(How well does the adventure use the rules to create interesting play?)

There isn't much interactivity with the setting itself, but there are plenty of NPCs to talk to and things to purchase. The various NPC descriptions provide physical details and often an interesting feature or behavior that makes them stand out. Not a lengthy, drawn-out backstory; just a few words or phrases that effectively present a personality ready to interact with the party (albeit without any stats or gameable details other than class and level).

I'm not sure what happens if a party of outsiders attacks Lord Orion's house. Obviously, the ten elf guards join the battle, but do the market's business owners and customers do anything? What happens if the party (somehow) defeats Lord Orion? Do they own the market now? Does it collapse into a singularity?

There is a suggestion that the party members could utilize the illusionist's special glamour to sneak into the house, but the text points out that the unique illusion carries the visibly-recognizable sigil of the banished spell-caster, and the house guards are immediately suspicious of it. D'oh!

The party could try replacing one of the entertainers here to perform for Lord Orion, but they would have to somehow bump off either the halfling poet or the 5 HD satyr without anyone noticing (the open cavern containing the fair is only about 400x160' with no areas that are completely out of sight). They could also try to convince/charm/bribe either entertainer into letting the entire party accompany them when they perform for Lord Orion, and there is a detail or two provided in that regard.

There's a bare-bones order-of-battle given if an alarm is raised (but only involves 7 of the 10 fair guards...what do the others do?), and a handy chart of the daily house schedules of Lord Orion and his retinue. The schedules only cover where they are/what they're doing between 8 AM and 8 PM (presumably they are in their private chambers for the other 12 hours of the night). There is no mention or detail of Lord Orion's personality, temperament, motives, or goals, other than that he is a "self-styled thespian."

The aforementioned baby-prison/sleep trap is actually pretty clever and would probably freak a novice party out. Besides dealing with that and initiating a massive fight, the only other proper dungeoneering activities in the adventure involve getting through a few locked/wizard-locked doors. The rest of it is dialoguing with NPCs, gathering information, figuring out what to do, and shopping. Absolutely nothing wrong with that and it achieves the contest's goals: Its a site, there are things to do and things going on, and you can achieve some adventure here. The whys and the what-happens-next is where the writeup doesn't give you very much. Whether that's a plus or minus will be up to your personal taste.

SCORE (INTERACTIVITY) = 2 / 5
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5) MODULARITY
(How easy would it be to drop/integrate the adventure into an existing campaign?)

I don't have a bit of problem with redefining a monster's tropes, but for an explicitly-modular adventure site contest, upending all conventional notions about a player-character race and several of the game's commonly-encountered enemies may limit its usefulness to many DMs.

In terms of ease of use, however, the site gives you a clear and simple path—a literal doorway into the fairy realm. You could plug this in anywhere at a moment's notice and, like Fog Valley Retreat, it could make for a recurring locale that the party can visit and interact with more than once (if they can avoid angering or killing its master).

SCORE (MODULARITY) = 4 / 5
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6) USABILITY
(How much work will the referee have to do to run this adventure at the table tonight?)

There's just not much to work with at the outset, in terms of adventure hook or motivations for both the party AND the major NPCs, and the danger level is HIGH for a low-level party without being obviously so. You'll have some prep work to do to get a normal party onboard with the adventure's premise. Same with the market: Only a few stalls are described, but the intro says it is crowded with "a mix of eclectic sellers and customers" and has "a bit of everything." If you want the rest of the fair and its inhabitants fleshed out, you'll have to do it yourself. 

The aftermath is a big unknown as well. What happens if the party succeeds? What happens if they fail? What exactly is going on between Poppy and Orion? If there is no reward, are there any recriminations for stealing from an elf lord capable of dimensional travel? All of these elements and more could use some narrative accounting or the whole thing becomes kind of a pointless exercise—an episode-of-the-week adventure with no lasting impact to a campaign or its characters. That would be a shame given how interesting the overall concept is.

SCORE (USABILITY) = 2 / 5
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7) OVERALL THOUGHTS

This site contains a lot of good ideas and is shooting for a really strong vibe that most players are going to be able to key into without much effort. I think a careful recasting of some of the main elements would go a long way toward fixing the issues I have with it. When you're going for something this rich and thematic, just pour it on, man! Find the most interesting creatures you can, add more detail, really juice it up so that it drips with faerie flavor.

In theory, I want to include this site in my campaign world. In practice, I am likely to just steal a couple of its ideas and create my own version. That's meant as both critique and compliment.

FINAL SCORE = 2.7 / 5